WHAT YOUR VAPE SAYS ABOUT YOU
Your choice of vape device doesn’t say anything about you – apart from what vape device you use! Your choice of vape flavour may tell us if you were a smoker, and if you have a bit of a sweet tooth! This article is a bit of fun, making connections between the type of vape device and pop culture icons!
INTRODUCTION
Roll up! Roll up! Come, one and all, to Dan’s Disposition Deductions, whereby simply telling me the flavour e-liquid that you vape, I know everything there is to know about you as a person - including the style of vape device you use! No tricks here, ladies and gents, all 1000% true lies, I tell ya!
THE VAPE DEVICES
THE SPONTANEOUS, SECRET VAPER
Ahh yes I look into my crystal balls and I see… I see a man in a tuxedo, cool as a cucumber, sitting at a table, felted green… circular discs in hand, rolling them over his knuckles. He raises a hand to his mouth, seemingly to cover a cough or a yawn, but wait! A keen eye reveals he is actually inhaling from a small, subtle vaping device! No one notices the small amount of vapour released when he finally exhales - this man is a master of the stealth vaping technique - and the vanilla fragrance that accompanies the vapour is assumed to be aftershave, mixed in with the musk of people all around. He slips the device back into the inside pocket of his jacket, no one any-the-wiser that there is a vaper in their midst.
James Bond - eat your heart out! You are sophisticated, suave, independent, and don’t crack under pressure. Always well presented, you catch everyone’s eye, but you are renowned for keeping your cards close to your chest.
CIG-A-LIKE
Closing my eyes, I hear the sound of a crowd, erupting in furious fashion. The striking of a guitar chord: distorted, loud and unforgiving. People go wild. A drumbeat begins; a bass guitar accompanies it as the groove sets in. A man in a top hat and sunglasses emerges on stage, electric guitar hanging from his shoulders, what looks like a cigarette in his mouth. His hands suddenly move lightning fast, shredding a face-melting guitar solo, sending the crowd into ecstasy!
You’re one cool dude - it’s the world’s favourite guitar player, the one and only Slash! Laid back, loved by all, and always seeking fun, you vape as a means to an end - you don’t need anything flashy, just something that works - and you can take it from there.
SUB OHM VAPE PRO
Suddenly the room darkens, an ominous presence has joined us. I hear heavy breathing, like someone who has been smoking cigarettes everyday for 40 years. Images of a tall figure, dressed all in black from head to toe, invade my mind. The figure’s black attire is solid like armour, and has a panel on his chest with all sorts of buttons and knobs, a black cloak adorning his shoulders flows down to the floor. The black helmet hides the human inside the armour. This imposing character is no stranger to walking through dense clouds of vapour...
It’s the one and only Dark Lord of the Sith - Darth Vader! The only thing more harmful than smoking is you! You need ultimate control of your vaping devices and other vaping products, and anything less will not be tolerated! If a part of your device is functioning sub-optimally, it must be replaced! Maintenance is necessary for you, and has become part of your routine. You set your mind on a task and you crush it - stop smoking regular cigarettes? Done. Kill all the Jedi? Easy.
THE E-LIQUID FLAVOURS
Tobacco flavours
Visions! Visions are coming to me… Actually they’re more like smell-isions… I smell a smokey room, I can hear the thud of darts hitting a dartboard, and I can almost taste a cold lager… A man sits, patiently waiting his turn. Another man stands at… why it’s another green felted table! He holds a long, thin stick in his hand that he’s resting on his other hand, lining it up to hit a white ball on the table. The sitting man’s face shows no emotion as he raises a vaping device to his lips, taking a drag, lamenting days of old when he could smoke while he played the game.
UK snooker pro, Jimmy White, could easily be your best friend. You enjoy socialising, and competitive games (that don’t require too much effort) and you really enjoy that beer after work!
Fruit based flavours
More telepathic images are coming to me! I see a woman standing in a supermarket, basket in hand, walking down the aisles, as she surveys the goods on the shelves. She has an idea of what she wants, but hasn’t quite narrowed it down to specifics yet. Slowly she makes her way to the objects of her desire, knowing that when she arrives, the right items will make themselves known. She does know that she will be taking home a variety, but the quality of what’s available will determine what she takes home. She leaves with a bag of bright, colourful objects… Fruit!
You know that variety is not just the spice of life - it is essential! You may not be into every experience, but there are a few you really enjoy, and you aren’t afraid to try something new! You are responsible, but fun in equal parts!
Dessert flavours
Ah! More smells are working through my olfactory system… I smell freshly baked Victoria sponge, a hint of strawberry mixed with buttercream. I can feel the heat of ovens, and smell a plethora of pleasant aromas floating through the warm air. A prim and proper woman patrols the ovens, checking the contents inside with little more than a look, confident in her ability. So practiced, so poised, she commands respect, and her guidance is valued - almost as much as her cakes!
If Mary Berry was in your family, you’d be one happy vaper! You know the effort that goes into creating such delectable flavours, and that effort is no stranger to you. Just like baking a cake, you work hard to enjoy the benefits, and aim to be precise and practiced - and you expect the same from your electronic cigarettes.
Candy flavours
Ouch! I think someone just pulled a sweet tooth out of my voodoo doll! Through the pain and swimming vision, an image appears: a spinning umbrella, striped white and red, seen from above, hypnotic. Wait… that’s no umbrella - it’s a hard candy! Suddenly the swirling white and red turns into flashing lights and carnival sounds, with clouds of pink candy floss floating on sticks held by the young as families traverse the carnival grounds.
Paolo Nutini fans abound, you’re cool, easy going, and go with the flow. It ain’t easy being one of the young people in today’s world, but your outfits are brightly coloured yet comfortable, and you always have a tune in your head carrying you as you bounce down the street! Nothing keeps you down!
Menthol Flavour
Suddenly, my sinuses clear as the smell and taste of mint permeates my senses. I am walking through a nature reserve, strolling gently, enjoying the colours and stopping to take in the majesty of the natural world, even in this small space. As I reach the end of the reserve, the smell of mint gets stronger, and I reach for the leaves giving off the aroma, and hold them to my nose and inhale deeply, before pinching a few leaves to take home in my pocket.
You are a sensible individual, and choose things for their functionality rather than their form. Sometimes, a little part of you that is child-like wonder and appreciation reveals itself - often at inappropriate times! You’re not seeking the nicotine hit at the back of the throat, but you always enjoy the minty fresh effect that menthol gives - you know what you like, and stick to it.
Blends of 2 or more flavours
Closing my eyes, I hear the shout of an elderly man… working on a car that-is-not-a-car, thin white hair dishevelled and poking off in all different directions. The man is brilliant; a genius, and is never satisfied by the offerings of the corporate world; all of their products fall short in his eyes. So, he makes his own! A mad scientist in his truest form, mixing concoctions all day every day, and the perfect combination is achieved… until next time that is!
Docs and Martys of the world, it’s time to get Back to the Vaping! Whether you are the teacher or the student, the vape flavours on the shelves don’t quite hit the spot for you, and so you’ve either been mixing vape juice a while, or someone with experience showed you how it’s done! You’re a mad scientist type, in this for the long term, always searching for the perfect blend of flavours. You don’t care how things look - just how they work!
WHAT YOUR VAPE SAYS ABOUT YOU: CONCLUSION
I hope you enjoyed finding something (or absolutely nothing!) out about yourself from this guide to what your vape says about you!
If you want to join the ranks of those of us that have given up smoking tobacco products, decreasing your risk of heart disease, stroke and cancer, you should consider making the switch to an e-cigarette or vaping device.
Public Health England’s review of evidence on e-cigarettes concluded that e-cigarettes are around 95% less harmful than traditional cigarettes, and a study from the New England Journal of Medicine found that e-cigarettes could be almost twice as effective as forms of Nicotine Replacement Therapy.
America’s Food and Drugs Administration had concerns over the risk of vaping related lung injuries, but have finally approved an e-cigarette on the basis of the provided evidence that the company’s vape products can aid with smoking cessation - glad you decided to join the rest of us in the present day, America!
If you are a smoker and want to quit today, check out the SMOKO Starter Kit deals - cigarettes to ditch? Make the switch!
